Thrown Away Hebrews 4:15

Thrown Away

Hebrews 4:15

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. 

Damaged goods.  I’m three times divorced now and that’s what I see.  Like a bruised melon no one wants.   How is anyone going to want me after three men have thrown me away? 

Is this how Jesus felt on the cross?  He was rejected and thrown away by everyone.  Even Peter, one of his most trusted disciples, denied even knowing him. But most hurtful had to be rejected by God, his father.  We think God rejected Him, how that must’ve hurt. But we must stop and think, his father rejected him, at the most painful point of his life. Yet he didn’t ask for all of it to stop.  He completed the path set before him.  His father welcomed him home  with open arms. Peter apologized, and some who had rejected him repented and accepted Him.  Others didn’t.  Some never will.

So in the deepest point of our rejection, we can be sure Jesus knows and shares our pain and cries with us.  He had victory over rejection and so will we.

Jesus, you know what I’m feeling. That gut wrenching pain I feel when I think I’m going to be rejected again. Thank you for your comfort.  Thank you that I can come to you and you know what I am feeling. Please be with me and help me with my insecurities.  And for those reading this let them know they are not alone.  Amen

Faith like Diamond Heb 12:1-2

Faith like Diamonds
Hebrews 12:1-2
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, had he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne

It was a simple gold cross with diamond like stones on it. The kids gotten it for me for Easter and I wore it proudly. Church was basically the same Easter service as always. This year videos of “The Passion” are shown on the screen with the heart stirring music. But this year I didn’t feel the life. I only felt the sorrow, encased as I was in my depression. My husband wanted to end our marriage. The love of my adult life was throwing me away, rejecting me, telling me that once again, I wasn’t good enough.
As Hebrews 12:1-2 was read I followed along in my bible. One phrase jumped out at me. So different from any other time in my life: He endured, because joy would be the reward, He endured. He endured and gave us eternal life.
If I could endure this trial, this time would become like one of the diamonds on my necklace. The tragedy I was facing, another divorce, my sorrow would be turned to joy. And my sorrow would be like diamonds on my cross

Daddy,
As we start this journey together, for the joy you set before us, for the diamonds on our cross, I pray for your guidance with every step.
Amen

Trials of Today 1st Peter 1:7

These trials will show that your faith is genuine.  It is being tested as fire tested as fire tests and purifies gold though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials it will bring you much praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is to the whole world..

My life is so stressed right now. I cry at the top of a hat. My mom had hip replacement surgery 6 weeks ago an I have been staying with her the last 2 weeks while my dad travels 4 days a week doing taxes.  I am taking care of my grandson full time who is 15 months, and I still have to take care of my own home and animals (2 cats, 2 dogs). My daughter, who has asbergers, is in the process of getting her license at 17. (not my grandsons mom) And then there is my own health, which is a fiery trial in itself. I have fibromyalgia, mostly centered in my hips and legs., CFS, migraines, and other minor things. But Peter says these things will show my faith is genuine, and I'll be purified as gold is tested and my faith is more precious than that gold.

Okay, I'll go with that. When I start to cry I'll take a deep breath and remind myself that this is just a test. And I will pass it.  My faith will be much stronger and Jesus will get the praise, honor, glory.

Jesus, give me the strength I need to get through today for today.  Help me to focus on today, not tomorrow , next week or next month. Just today. Also help me to count my blessings in all of this.
I love you,
Amen

Down and out? Psalms 143:7-8

Come quickly, Lord, and answer me,
    for my depression deepens.
Don’t turn away from me,
    or I will die. 
 Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,
    for I am trusting you.
Show me where to walk,
    for I give myself to you.

Everywhere around me was dark, a kind of darkness that permeates everything. The kind you walk in.  Wade thru.  But no light is strong enough to penetrate it.  I can feel the hand of the Lord on me but I am so deep in the pit the light wont reach me.  My marriage is over, love is gone, I'm numb to just about everything.  I want help out of this darkness.I try to climb out, but something azlways knocks me back in. I lose my grip and fall.  Why couldn't the doctors fix me? The sorrow and the depression was so deep, soul deep, that only God could reach me.I'd poke up my head and have a few good days but I'd go back to my hole and my hurt and pain.  In my hole I fed my hurt and pain.
Until one daymany years being in the darkness, years of wanting out and nnot knowing what to do.  I trusted God to show me what to do, and I gave myself over to him.  I asked him what he wanted me to do.  He wanted me to give him my hurt and pain.  I didn't want to give Him my pain.  I had nursed it and fed it and taken care of it for the last seven years.  It was mine.  He sat there, patiently waiting.  Did I want to keep hurting?  Or did I want to see?I offered it up to His hands, and I saw something I couldn't see when I was curled around it.  It was chained to me.  But as I offered it up the locks broke,the chain fell away and I was free.  Light filtered into my pit.  The hurt was gone.  I saw the ladder.  I could get out now. I took a step towards them and suddenly I was on a mountaintop, sitting beside Jesus, my head on His shoulder. In a place of freedom and joy I hadn't known in many years.

Father, 
We wander and you seek us out.  We fall into a pit, and sit and let it get deeper and deeper and all along you sit beside it waiting to hear us the tiniest cry for help. Thank you for rescuing me, and for anyone reading this, answer their cry for help. lift them up out of the pit they find themselves in..
We love you Jesus,
Amen

Have You Checked Your Idols Lately? Ezekiel 14:3

“Son of man, these leaders have set up idols^[a] in their hearts. They have embraced things that will make them fall into sin. Why should I listen to their requests?     Ezekiel 14:3

The Israelites had idols galore.  And they took them into their hearts, the place reserved for God.  Then they fell into deep sin because of these idols. Temple prostitution, child sacrifice, false prophets.  They were allowing demons to dictate how they worshiped so why should God listen to them?  Why should God answer any of their requests?  By this time majority of them were already living were already living in exile, but they still hadn’t turned their hearts back to God.   Why would He do anything for an adulterous people?  To a people who couldn’t be loyal to Him and Him alone?  Simple.   At that point He couldn’t.

What are your idols?  Do you know? Have you asked God recently?  Recently,  God smashed all mine to pieces when my computer broke.  And I had pneumonia at the same time.  I didn’t even realize how much time I was spending on the internet.  Facebook, Pinterest, many different doll sites, my own website, they all took my time.  God smashed them all when I lost my computer.  After I lost them, I spent hours with God.   I ended up reading my bible cover to cover in 3 weeks.  I had no computer and no TV while I was sick, and the only book I had a desire to read was my bible.  I have never been as close to the Lord as I am today.  Or as content, because I know He loves me and he is going to take care of everything for me.  I feel  His love in everything I do, I see His hand in everything that comes my way.  I pray over every decision I make.  My sense of worth is growing because I know my confidence found in God and not in me.

Father,

Please help me to keep idols out of my life.  Help me to do a check often and to remove anything that sets itself up in place of you. I want to continue to draw closer to you, to be more intimate with you.  Help me to watch myself and to do only those things  that bring you pleasure. Strengthen me for my journey.

In your precious name I pray

Amen

Your Plans, Desires, and God Psalms 20:4

May he grant your heart’s desires
    and make all your plans succeed.  Psalms 20:4

What is your hearts desire?  God wants to give it to you. And He wants to make all your plans succeed. Again, all means A-L-L. Every.  Each one.  Our plans and our hearts desires.  But this verse tells me God wants both of them for me.  I'm all for that.  Are you?

God want ALL my plans to succeed?  Ok so that means my daily to do list should get done. And my book should be published by the first person I send it into when it is complete.  And i be a huge success. So my to do list needs to have writing time somewhere. And the best way to make my to do list succeed is to pray over it, and let God help me set the priorities for the day.  AND He wants to grant me my hearts desires? (which are not the same thing as plans) 
My plans far outweigh my hearts deires right now.  That has not always been the case in my life.  My only lhearts desire is for full reconcilliation with my oldest daughter with me and with God.  And success with my business and my book.

Lord,
Grant me my hearts desire: full reconciliation with meg.  Grant success to my business, and to my book.  Continue helping to find time to write my blogs, and the topics continue to flow.  This book is a book you have asked me to write, so I am leaving it all in your hands.

The Lord is with me Psalms 16:8

I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.  Psalms 16:8

Doesn't matter where you go, good or bad.  Jesus is with you.  Nothing can make him go away. Nothing you do can make him leave.  Therefore, nothing can shake you up enough to make him leave.  He is always there beside you.  Good times and bad, right living and wrong, good places and bad.

I can watch a G movie or an R movie and Jesus is going to watch it with me.  I can be sober me or I can be drunk and Jesus is going to be right beside me.  I can walk into a restaurant or a bar and Jesus is going to walk in with me. No matter what life I live Jesus is always with me whether I acknowledge him or not.  Yet, as I do acknowledge him I will not be shaken.  I can have an ideal life and He is right beside me.  I can have a challenging life, but I will not be shaken,  because he is right beside me. My child could die, but I will not be shaken. My spouse could die, but I will not be shaken.  I want an ideal life, of course, but Jesus doesn't promise that.  In fact, He says the opposite.  He promises that we will have trouble, but to take heart, for he has overcome the world. (John 16:33)  And no matter what trouble we face I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN.

Lord,
Please help me to remember when trials come you are right beside me. I wont be shaken no matter what as long as I keep fixed on you. And no matter where I am and what I am doing you are with me.  Be with me always, my Jesus.  I love you, Abba.
Amen

God doesn't lie Numbers 23:19

 
God is not a man, so he does not lie.
    He is not human, so he does not change his mind.
Has he ever spoken and failed to act?
    Has he ever promised and not carried it through?    Numbers 23:19

God doesn't lie so I can believe what he says in His word is truth. He doesn't change His mind so I can believe when He makes a promise He will follow through with it.  It may take years of waiting but it will happen. In the meantime I will wait for the Lord, I will be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. (Psalms 27:14)  So when the bible say to delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4) He will do it.  God is the ultimate authority on truth and He never changes His mind on the truth. Abraham waited 25 years for Gods promise to come.  But it did come.  He never lost faith. He never lost sight of the prommise God made to him.


Broken promises abound in my life.  Starting with my dad and going all the way through to each of my husbands.  So I have a hard time believing when anyone makes a promise.  And lies have been a constant part of each of my marriages too. So to hear that God is all and only truth is a foreign concept to me.  Because I don't know what to do when someone is consistantly truthful.  And to know God wont break His promises? What is that? Even my earthy father broke his promises to me. In fact, he still does. So I don't have a lot of examples of what kept promises look like. But I am willing to watch and learn.

Abba Father
I am willing to learn. I am willing to take you at your word that you don't lie and that you keep your promises.  Your word says to delight myself in you and you will give me the desires of my heart.  I don't know what my heart desires right now because you have so blessed my life these last few months. But you do. I do know, Lord, that I want complete reconcilliation with my daughter and my son.   And Lord, please protect my nieces and nephew while they are in their mom's custody.
Those are my hearts cries right now Lord. And I'll hang on to the promises you have given me.

In your precious holy name I pray,
Amen