Come quickly, Lord, and answer me,
for my depression deepens.
Don’t turn away from me,
or I will die.
Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,
for I am trusting you.
Show me where to walk,
for I give myself to you.
Everywhere around me was dark, a kind of darkness that permeates everything. The kind you walk in. Wade thru. But no light is strong enough to penetrate it. I can feel the hand of the Lord on me but I am so deep in the pit the light wont reach me. My marriage is over, love is gone, I'm numb to just about everything. I want help out of this darkness.I try to climb out, but something azlways knocks me back in. I lose my grip and fall. Why couldn't the doctors fix me? The sorrow and the depression was so deep, soul deep, that only God could reach me.I'd poke up my head and have a few good days but I'd go back to my hole and my hurt and pain. In my hole I fed my hurt and pain.
Until one daymany years being in the darkness, years of wanting out and nnot knowing what to do. I trusted God to show me what to do, and I gave myself over to him. I asked him what he wanted me to do. He wanted me to give him my hurt and pain. I didn't want to give Him my pain. I had nursed it and fed it and taken care of it for the last seven years. It was mine. He sat there, patiently waiting. Did I want to keep hurting? Or did I want to see?I offered it up to His hands, and I saw something I couldn't see when I was curled around it. It was chained to me. But as I offered it up the locks broke,the chain fell away and I was free. Light filtered into my pit. The hurt was gone. I saw the ladder. I could get out now. I took a step towards them and suddenly I was on a mountaintop, sitting beside Jesus, my head on His shoulder. In a place of freedom and joy I hadn't known in many years.
Father,
We wander and you seek us out. We fall into a pit, and sit and let it get deeper and deeper and all along you sit beside it waiting to hear us the tiniest cry for help. Thank you for rescuing me, and for anyone reading this, answer their cry for help. lift them up out of the pit they find themselves in..
We love you Jesus,
Amen
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