Thrown Away Hebrews 4:15

Thrown Away

Hebrews 4:15

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. 

Damaged goods.  I’m three times divorced now and that’s what I see.  Like a bruised melon no one wants.   How is anyone going to want me after three men have thrown me away? 

Is this how Jesus felt on the cross?  He was rejected and thrown away by everyone.  Even Peter, one of his most trusted disciples, denied even knowing him. But most hurtful had to be rejected by God, his father.  We think God rejected Him, how that must’ve hurt. But we must stop and think, his father rejected him, at the most painful point of his life. Yet he didn’t ask for all of it to stop.  He completed the path set before him.  His father welcomed him home  with open arms. Peter apologized, and some who had rejected him repented and accepted Him.  Others didn’t.  Some never will.

So in the deepest point of our rejection, we can be sure Jesus knows and shares our pain and cries with us.  He had victory over rejection and so will we.

Jesus, you know what I’m feeling. That gut wrenching pain I feel when I think I’m going to be rejected again. Thank you for your comfort.  Thank you that I can come to you and you know what I am feeling. Please be with me and help me with my insecurities.  And for those reading this let them know they are not alone.  Amen

Enough Matthew 11:30

“For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Mathew 11:30

       When do we say enough is enough? Why do we wait so long to say I’ve had enough of me and all I need is you?  Why don’t we say at the start, Lord, this is your problem have your way with it?

We all have our problems we want fixed our own way. Mine was my marriage.  I wanted my husband to come back to me.  And to God.  And he chose not to. It devastated me for a long time. But within the crisis I got to say ENOUGH. My God knows me best and wants what is best for me.

       He loves me. He was rejected for me and he held my sin and shame on the cross for me. And now He asks in return that I let Him carry my burden and I carry the one He gives me. I don’t think that is a fair trade do you? His burden is so much easier than mine. And life is so much easier when we hand our problems over for him to carry and let him handle them.

       Father, I pray for all those who are saying enough. Enough of me.   Enough of my way.  Enough of my situation and my fixes.  Enough of filling the void with things of my own choosing.  Let them say all of you Jesus.   Let them say I’ve had enough of my burden, would you carry it for me Jesus. Let them fill the void in their heart with you   Bless everyone who reads these pages, Father, and let their lives be changed.  Amen

Down and out? Psalms 143:7-8

Come quickly, Lord, and answer me,
    for my depression deepens.
Don’t turn away from me,
    or I will die. 
 Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,
    for I am trusting you.
Show me where to walk,
    for I give myself to you.

Everywhere around me was dark, a kind of darkness that permeates everything. The kind you walk in.  Wade thru.  But no light is strong enough to penetrate it.  I can feel the hand of the Lord on me but I am so deep in the pit the light wont reach me.  My marriage is over, love is gone, I'm numb to just about everything.  I want help out of this darkness.I try to climb out, but something azlways knocks me back in. I lose my grip and fall.  Why couldn't the doctors fix me? The sorrow and the depression was so deep, soul deep, that only God could reach me.I'd poke up my head and have a few good days but I'd go back to my hole and my hurt and pain.  In my hole I fed my hurt and pain.
Until one daymany years being in the darkness, years of wanting out and nnot knowing what to do.  I trusted God to show me what to do, and I gave myself over to him.  I asked him what he wanted me to do.  He wanted me to give him my hurt and pain.  I didn't want to give Him my pain.  I had nursed it and fed it and taken care of it for the last seven years.  It was mine.  He sat there, patiently waiting.  Did I want to keep hurting?  Or did I want to see?I offered it up to His hands, and I saw something I couldn't see when I was curled around it.  It was chained to me.  But as I offered it up the locks broke,the chain fell away and I was free.  Light filtered into my pit.  The hurt was gone.  I saw the ladder.  I could get out now. I took a step towards them and suddenly I was on a mountaintop, sitting beside Jesus, my head on His shoulder. In a place of freedom and joy I hadn't known in many years.

Father, 
We wander and you seek us out.  We fall into a pit, and sit and let it get deeper and deeper and all along you sit beside it waiting to hear us the tiniest cry for help. Thank you for rescuing me, and for anyone reading this, answer their cry for help. lift them up out of the pit they find themselves in..
We love you Jesus,
Amen

The Lord is with me Psalms 16:8

I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.  Psalms 16:8

Doesn't matter where you go, good or bad.  Jesus is with you.  Nothing can make him go away. Nothing you do can make him leave.  Therefore, nothing can shake you up enough to make him leave.  He is always there beside you.  Good times and bad, right living and wrong, good places and bad.

I can watch a G movie or an R movie and Jesus is going to watch it with me.  I can be sober me or I can be drunk and Jesus is going to be right beside me.  I can walk into a restaurant or a bar and Jesus is going to walk in with me. No matter what life I live Jesus is always with me whether I acknowledge him or not.  Yet, as I do acknowledge him I will not be shaken.  I can have an ideal life and He is right beside me.  I can have a challenging life, but I will not be shaken,  because he is right beside me. My child could die, but I will not be shaken. My spouse could die, but I will not be shaken.  I want an ideal life, of course, but Jesus doesn't promise that.  In fact, He says the opposite.  He promises that we will have trouble, but to take heart, for he has overcome the world. (John 16:33)  And no matter what trouble we face I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN.

Lord,
Please help me to remember when trials come you are right beside me. I wont be shaken no matter what as long as I keep fixed on you. And no matter where I am and what I am doing you are with me.  Be with me always, my Jesus.  I love you, Abba.
Amen

God doesn't lie Numbers 23:19

 
God is not a man, so he does not lie.
    He is not human, so he does not change his mind.
Has he ever spoken and failed to act?
    Has he ever promised and not carried it through?    Numbers 23:19

God doesn't lie so I can believe what he says in His word is truth. He doesn't change His mind so I can believe when He makes a promise He will follow through with it.  It may take years of waiting but it will happen. In the meantime I will wait for the Lord, I will be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. (Psalms 27:14)  So when the bible say to delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4) He will do it.  God is the ultimate authority on truth and He never changes His mind on the truth. Abraham waited 25 years for Gods promise to come.  But it did come.  He never lost faith. He never lost sight of the prommise God made to him.


Broken promises abound in my life.  Starting with my dad and going all the way through to each of my husbands.  So I have a hard time believing when anyone makes a promise.  And lies have been a constant part of each of my marriages too. So to hear that God is all and only truth is a foreign concept to me.  Because I don't know what to do when someone is consistantly truthful.  And to know God wont break His promises? What is that? Even my earthy father broke his promises to me. In fact, he still does. So I don't have a lot of examples of what kept promises look like. But I am willing to watch and learn.

Abba Father
I am willing to learn. I am willing to take you at your word that you don't lie and that you keep your promises.  Your word says to delight myself in you and you will give me the desires of my heart.  I don't know what my heart desires right now because you have so blessed my life these last few months. But you do. I do know, Lord, that I want complete reconcilliation with my daughter and my son.   And Lord, please protect my nieces and nephew while they are in their mom's custody.
Those are my hearts cries right now Lord. And I'll hang on to the promises you have given me.

In your precious holy name I pray,
Amen