Anger Psalms 91:14-16

Anger

Psalms 91:14-16 For the Lord says “Because she loves me I will rescue her: I will make her great because she trusts in my name.  When she calls on me I will answer; I will be with her in trouble and rescue her and honor her.  I will satisfy her with a full life and give her my salvation.

All I feel is anger.  What I thought were blessings from God are always taken away. Why? What am I doing wrong?  I have so many struggles in my life.  All my life I have been abandoned by the men in my life. Why can’t I have love?  No one has ever really stayed.  Why do men always walk away from me.  All I want is to be loved and cherished by someone for who I am.  I don’t want to hide who I am or become someone else. I just want to be  real.   Where do I go from here?  How do I ever trust again?

Abba, I want to be satisfied.  I want to feel your blessings.  I want to understand why your blessings come so hard for me. I have nowhere to turn but you.   I can’t feel your love.  I ask that right now and that you fill my heart to overflowing with your peace and love.  Fill my life with the good things that come from you.   Redeem what the enemy has stolen from my life.  In your precious hands, I place my life, amen.

Thrown Away Hebrews 4:15

Thrown Away

Hebrews 4:15

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. 

Damaged goods.  I’m three times divorced now and that’s what I see.  Like a bruised melon no one wants.   How is anyone going to want me after three men have thrown me away? 

Is this how Jesus felt on the cross?  He was rejected and thrown away by everyone.  Even Peter, one of his most trusted disciples, denied even knowing him. But most hurtful had to be rejected by God, his father.  We think God rejected Him, how that must’ve hurt. But we must stop and think, his father rejected him, at the most painful point of his life. Yet he didn’t ask for all of it to stop.  He completed the path set before him.  His father welcomed him home  with open arms. Peter apologized, and some who had rejected him repented and accepted Him.  Others didn’t.  Some never will.

So in the deepest point of our rejection, we can be sure Jesus knows and shares our pain and cries with us.  He had victory over rejection and so will we.

Jesus, you know what I’m feeling. That gut wrenching pain I feel when I think I’m going to be rejected again. Thank you for your comfort.  Thank you that I can come to you and you know what I am feeling. Please be with me and help me with my insecurities.  And for those reading this let them know they are not alone.  Amen