Down and out? Psalms 143:7-8

Come quickly, Lord, and answer me,
    for my depression deepens.
Don’t turn away from me,
    or I will die. 
 Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,
    for I am trusting you.
Show me where to walk,
    for I give myself to you.

Everywhere around me was dark, a kind of darkness that permeates everything. The kind you walk in.  Wade thru.  But no light is strong enough to penetrate it.  I can feel the hand of the Lord on me but I am so deep in the pit the light wont reach me.  My marriage is over, love is gone, I'm numb to just about everything.  I want help out of this darkness.I try to climb out, but something azlways knocks me back in. I lose my grip and fall.  Why couldn't the doctors fix me? The sorrow and the depression was so deep, soul deep, that only God could reach me.I'd poke up my head and have a few good days but I'd go back to my hole and my hurt and pain.  In my hole I fed my hurt and pain.
Until one daymany years being in the darkness, years of wanting out and nnot knowing what to do.  I trusted God to show me what to do, and I gave myself over to him.  I asked him what he wanted me to do.  He wanted me to give him my hurt and pain.  I didn't want to give Him my pain.  I had nursed it and fed it and taken care of it for the last seven years.  It was mine.  He sat there, patiently waiting.  Did I want to keep hurting?  Or did I want to see?I offered it up to His hands, and I saw something I couldn't see when I was curled around it.  It was chained to me.  But as I offered it up the locks broke,the chain fell away and I was free.  Light filtered into my pit.  The hurt was gone.  I saw the ladder.  I could get out now. I took a step towards them and suddenly I was on a mountaintop, sitting beside Jesus, my head on His shoulder. In a place of freedom and joy I hadn't known in many years.

Father, 
We wander and you seek us out.  We fall into a pit, and sit and let it get deeper and deeper and all along you sit beside it waiting to hear us the tiniest cry for help. Thank you for rescuing me, and for anyone reading this, answer their cry for help. lift them up out of the pit they find themselves in..
We love you Jesus,
Amen

Have You Checked Your Idols Lately? Ezekiel 14:3

“Son of man, these leaders have set up idols^[a] in their hearts. They have embraced things that will make them fall into sin. Why should I listen to their requests?     Ezekiel 14:3

The Israelites had idols galore.  And they took them into their hearts, the place reserved for God.  Then they fell into deep sin because of these idols. Temple prostitution, child sacrifice, false prophets.  They were allowing demons to dictate how they worshiped so why should God listen to them?  Why should God answer any of their requests?  By this time majority of them were already living were already living in exile, but they still hadn’t turned their hearts back to God.   Why would He do anything for an adulterous people?  To a people who couldn’t be loyal to Him and Him alone?  Simple.   At that point He couldn’t.

What are your idols?  Do you know? Have you asked God recently?  Recently,  God smashed all mine to pieces when my computer broke.  And I had pneumonia at the same time.  I didn’t even realize how much time I was spending on the internet.  Facebook, Pinterest, many different doll sites, my own website, they all took my time.  God smashed them all when I lost my computer.  After I lost them, I spent hours with God.   I ended up reading my bible cover to cover in 3 weeks.  I had no computer and no TV while I was sick, and the only book I had a desire to read was my bible.  I have never been as close to the Lord as I am today.  Or as content, because I know He loves me and he is going to take care of everything for me.  I feel  His love in everything I do, I see His hand in everything that comes my way.  I pray over every decision I make.  My sense of worth is growing because I know my confidence found in God and not in me.

Father,

Please help me to keep idols out of my life.  Help me to do a check often and to remove anything that sets itself up in place of you. I want to continue to draw closer to you, to be more intimate with you.  Help me to watch myself and to do only those things  that bring you pleasure. Strengthen me for my journey.

In your precious name I pray

Amen

Your Plans, Desires, and God Psalms 20:4

May he grant your heart’s desires
    and make all your plans succeed.  Psalms 20:4

What is your hearts desire?  God wants to give it to you. And He wants to make all your plans succeed. Again, all means A-L-L. Every.  Each one.  Our plans and our hearts desires.  But this verse tells me God wants both of them for me.  I'm all for that.  Are you?

God want ALL my plans to succeed?  Ok so that means my daily to do list should get done. And my book should be published by the first person I send it into when it is complete.  And i be a huge success. So my to do list needs to have writing time somewhere. And the best way to make my to do list succeed is to pray over it, and let God help me set the priorities for the day.  AND He wants to grant me my hearts desires? (which are not the same thing as plans) 
My plans far outweigh my hearts deires right now.  That has not always been the case in my life.  My only lhearts desire is for full reconcilliation with my oldest daughter with me and with God.  And success with my business and my book.

Lord,
Grant me my hearts desire: full reconciliation with meg.  Grant success to my business, and to my book.  Continue helping to find time to write my blogs, and the topics continue to flow.  This book is a book you have asked me to write, so I am leaving it all in your hands.

The Lord is with me Psalms 16:8

I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.  Psalms 16:8

Doesn't matter where you go, good or bad.  Jesus is with you.  Nothing can make him go away. Nothing you do can make him leave.  Therefore, nothing can shake you up enough to make him leave.  He is always there beside you.  Good times and bad, right living and wrong, good places and bad.

I can watch a G movie or an R movie and Jesus is going to watch it with me.  I can be sober me or I can be drunk and Jesus is going to be right beside me.  I can walk into a restaurant or a bar and Jesus is going to walk in with me. No matter what life I live Jesus is always with me whether I acknowledge him or not.  Yet, as I do acknowledge him I will not be shaken.  I can have an ideal life and He is right beside me.  I can have a challenging life, but I will not be shaken,  because he is right beside me. My child could die, but I will not be shaken. My spouse could die, but I will not be shaken.  I want an ideal life, of course, but Jesus doesn't promise that.  In fact, He says the opposite.  He promises that we will have trouble, but to take heart, for he has overcome the world. (John 16:33)  And no matter what trouble we face I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN.

Lord,
Please help me to remember when trials come you are right beside me. I wont be shaken no matter what as long as I keep fixed on you. And no matter where I am and what I am doing you are with me.  Be with me always, my Jesus.  I love you, Abba.
Amen

Remember Deut 8:18

¹⁸ Remember the Lord your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath..

God blesses to the third and fourth generation.  We have to look back and remember this and remember God.  As we remember the Lord, He will give us the power we need to follow in His will and way.

In my family line I can trace Christianity back to my great-grandparents. So, all five of us children are receiving a blessing from God because my great-grandparents served him. I have my own blessing from God because I follow him,  But rarely in my life have I felt blessed. Now, lately, I know what Paul was talking about when he said blessed abundantly above and beyond all we can think or imagine. I am so thankful for all the blessing God has poured out on me and my family lately.
The Holy Spirit enables me with power to fulfill the covenant I made with Jesus.

Daddy,
Thank you for the many blessings you have poured out on my life recently.  Thank you for Jason. Thank you for my kids. Thank you for restoration with Maeghan. Thank you for your love. Thank you for parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents that loved you and served you.  Thank you for your  Holy Spirit who draws me to you, who fills me with power to stand firm in my commitment to you. 
I love you, Daddy
Amen

God doesn't lie Numbers 23:19

 
God is not a man, so he does not lie.
    He is not human, so he does not change his mind.
Has he ever spoken and failed to act?
    Has he ever promised and not carried it through?    Numbers 23:19

God doesn't lie so I can believe what he says in His word is truth. He doesn't change His mind so I can believe when He makes a promise He will follow through with it.  It may take years of waiting but it will happen. In the meantime I will wait for the Lord, I will be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. (Psalms 27:14)  So when the bible say to delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4) He will do it.  God is the ultimate authority on truth and He never changes His mind on the truth. Abraham waited 25 years for Gods promise to come.  But it did come.  He never lost faith. He never lost sight of the prommise God made to him.


Broken promises abound in my life.  Starting with my dad and going all the way through to each of my husbands.  So I have a hard time believing when anyone makes a promise.  And lies have been a constant part of each of my marriages too. So to hear that God is all and only truth is a foreign concept to me.  Because I don't know what to do when someone is consistantly truthful.  And to know God wont break His promises? What is that? Even my earthy father broke his promises to me. In fact, he still does. So I don't have a lot of examples of what kept promises look like. But I am willing to watch and learn.

Abba Father
I am willing to learn. I am willing to take you at your word that you don't lie and that you keep your promises.  Your word says to delight myself in you and you will give me the desires of my heart.  I don't know what my heart desires right now because you have so blessed my life these last few months. But you do. I do know, Lord, that I want complete reconcilliation with my daughter and my son.   And Lord, please protect my nieces and nephew while they are in their mom's custody.
Those are my hearts cries right now Lord. And I'll hang on to the promises you have given me.

In your precious holy name I pray,
Amen

Anything John 14:14

¹³ You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. ¹⁴ Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

Anything means what? Any thing= all things=every thing=whatever I can think in my heads to ask for. 
It means ALL things. And he will do it for the glory of God.  And he is interested in all areas of our lives from the big stress producing event to the little things like wanting to get a certain item washed in time to wear it the next day.  We just need to talk to him about it. He is always listening, waiting for us to ask.  But we have to ask for it in his name and in line with his word and will.

Can I buy a powerball ticket and ask God to bless it before I get it? Maybe as long as I have the extra dollar to spend and it's not bill money. I can ask for healing and believe He me for the glory of God. I can ask Him to help me find the keys I misplaced last night and have him help me find them. He  alway does. I can pray for a close parking place before I get to a store. Usually there is.  God cares about all these thing.  Because He cares about us. I can ask for anything in His name and believe, and I will get an answer.

I am here. John 6:17-21

 

¹⁷ But as darkness fell and Jesus still hadn’t come back, they got into the boat and headed across the lake toward Capernaum. ¹⁸ Soon a gale swept down upon them, and the sea grew very rough. ¹⁹ They had rowed three or four miles^[a] when suddenly they saw Jesus walking on the water toward the boat. They were terrified, ²⁰ but he called out to them, “Don’t be afraid. I am here!^[b]” ²¹ Then they were eager to let him in the boat, and immediately they arrived at their destination!

Suddenly and immediately. Such strong word. Such words that are often used to describe how Jesus works.  The disciples were in the middle of a raging storm. Things were crazy scary. And someone was walking towards them. They weren't a little bit scared. They were freakin terrified.  It was a suddenly moment. They were getting their miracle.  I'm sure they had been praying for one. But having swomeone walking on water towards them wasn't how they expected it answered. But suddenly, there it was, staring them in the face.  And they didn't know what to do.  But as soon as He spoke, they recognized Jesus, recognized that they were getting their miracle.  And immediately after He was in the boat they had their miracle.  The storm was over and they were where they needed to be.

We are often in storms during our lives. And as the storms rage we pray and pray for our miracle.  But as our miracle is coming towards us were more terrified of it than of the storm.  But Jesus whispers to us "Don't be afraid, I am here." and we let him in the boat. And suddenly we are right where we need to be with blue skies all around.  The storm is over and we have what we prayed for.

Lord,

Help me to hear you sooner when I'm waiting for my miracle. Help me not be so afraid when my miracle is coming.  Help me to fix my eyes on you not the storm that's raging outside.

Amen

I love the Lord Psalms 116:1-2

I love the Lord because he hears my voice
and my prayer for mercy
Because He bends down to listen
I will pray as long as I have breath! Psalms 116:1-2

One reason I love the Lord is because He hears us when we call out to Him.  But, of course, that is only one of many.  He hears my voice whatever I pray, but especially hears my cry for mercy. When circumstances overwhelm me and life is just to much I cry out for mercy and the Lord hears me.  And I can pray at all times and in all ways because God in heaven, God Almighty, God of Heavens Armies bends down and listens to ME. To little nothing me. Who is angry and belligerent sometimes.  Who is disobedient a lot of the times.  I'm finding out, who is more a love of pleasures than a lover of what is right.  But he still bends down and listens to what I say when I pray. Why? Why would He do that? Why would He listen to me? Wretched sinner that I am?
But since He does listen I will purify my heart, I will diligently seek out sin my life, I will strive to honor Him in all I do. I will strive to do what is right and love pleasure less.  I will intercede more and pray for me less.  I will cry out for mercy quicker so I don't struggle in my own muck and mire but let God deliver me.

Lord,
Deliver me from myself
Amen

Judging Others Luke 6:37-38

Luke 6:37-38 NLT

³⁷ “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. ³⁸ Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.^[a]”

It is not my job to sit in condemning judgement of others.  If I do I will receive the same.  It is painful to be condemned by others because we know that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1) Condemnation is from Satan.  In not judging we are giving.  And then we can receive what God has in store for us.  God packs it down hard, pours it in til it's running over, then places it in our laps.  The more we give the more we receive.

I try not to judge people.  I don't like to be judged, so I try not to do it. It is not my place.  I live for God and God alone.  My time, my talent, my food, clothes and shelter are all given to God for His use.  And he blesses me with everything I need and more. Food, clothing, shelter, time with Him, protection, and unbelievable love.

Lord,
Help me to not pass judgement on others but to see them thru your eyes, to have compassion on them.  Help me to give more out of the abundance that I have.  Help me to love more, and to receive more when you give to me.  I am not good at receiving.  Pour out in abundant overflow your blessings on me and my family and my  friends and all who read this.
In your precious name,
Amen